Citing Security Concerns, All Airlines Ban Clothing To Make Searches Easier and Quicker

With the advent of the US Government shipping thousands of illegal aliens around America in the dead of the night on domestic flights, clogging up the boarding lines and aircraft, all the Airlines have banned clothing (except masks) in all airports and on all flights to make TSA search requirements go quicker and easier for everyone. Security is enhanced by not being able to hide contraband on your persons. Lines should move much quicker.

It is hoped that the new catch phrases “Naked Is Naturally Safe” and “Boobies For Bombs,” well, catch on.

Objections from mainly conservative parents, clingy boyfriends, Old guys with really dangly balls, and LGBQT+ with bald privates but hairy pits and legs are expected. On the bright side, the New Catholic Church should support the new mandate in the name of “security for all.” On the really bright side, all those “Stewardess” fantasies of the 70’s are about to get an unbelievable kick start after being squashed by uniform changes in the 80’s.

All male TSA agents involved in pre-boarding searches have been issued Valium, oven mitts, and salt peter to mitigate certain physiological reactions. Female TSA agents have been provided rulers. (Go on. Think about it. Work it out. Rulers … Can Whack Things …)(Weren’t expecting that were you?)

As with the #FJB Vaccine Mandate, NO exceptions will be granted for Personal or Religious objections. Your Body Our Rules still apply. Everyone that blindly accepted all the COVID-19 mandates from the President, various State Governors, City Mayors & Councilmen, and store clerks should fall right into line with no conscious effort. All illegal aliens are exempt as are all Democrat Congresspersons, of course.

Standing in crowded lines brings a whole new meaning to “Nuts to Butts.” Safeway Stores, Verizon Cell Towers, and Popeye’s Chicken restaurants are studying if they should adopt the airlines policies.

OK, enough of that shit. Mainly because I get these strange things running through my head but get to a point where I just can’t think of anything else to say. Or how to say it. Imagine, me, at a loss for words.

The day started at 0450 today. Didn’t mean for that to happen but I woke from a stupid dream into the dark before dawn bright eyed and bushy tailed. Not really. Did wake at 0450, but by no means cognizant enough to function as an adult. Like a 13 year old waking with his first hard-on I was confused, groggy, and wondering if I’d hurt myself. Coffee! Now!

Walk was pretty nice this morning. Was kinda sorta sprinkling but not too much. No strange dogs chased us. Again.

Doctor Who marathon today. From the first Eccleston to the last Capaldi is only 116 Hours. And, yes, Matt was my favorite.

Put my bacon and tater patty in the air fryer for 15 minutes on “air fry” and got mixed results. Bacon was crispy but next time maybe 10 minutes would be best. We’ll see. Fried the egg over easy as usual using the bacon grease. Next time I may try it in the air fryer also.

Just because.

SWMBO is at 50/35 now. Could be at 40/35 by this evening if all goes as planned.

But you know what they say about making plans …

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