So, instead I got to playing with MAGIX Music Maker. Did two ’songs’ tonight but I like this one the best. So I’m trying out this embedding schtuff.
Dang! Somethings wrong with my sound output. You can’t hardly hear that "thump thump thump" when I play this in Music Maker. Hmmmm…
A teacher is explaining biology to her 1st grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!
"That must’ve been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went ’Fffffff, Fffffff, Fffffff, Fffffff’…And before he could say "Fuck", the rottweiler ate him!"
#1: I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was a University of SC graduate (big clue there) and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again…same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. This actually happened to me in Austin at MoPac Blvd and Parmer Lane .
……………They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
#2: I walked into a Mickey D’s with a buy -one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said “buy one-get-one free.” “They’re already buy-one-get-one-free”, she said, “so I guess they’re both free” She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
……………They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
#3: One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, “Look at that dead bird!” Someone looked up at the sky and said, “Where?”
……………They Walk Among Us!
#4: While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?” When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, “Oh I don’t keep up with that stuff.”
…………..They Walk Among Us and sell houses!!
#5: I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call enter was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time? Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific.”
…………..They Walk Among Us!
#6: My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
…………..They Walk Among Us!
#7: I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “has your plane arrived yet?”
…………..They Walk Among Us and propose to give us direction!
#8: While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought abo it for some time before responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”
……………Yep, They Walk Among Us and keep up the CPI!
They Walk Among Us, they reproduce, and WORST OF All…………they VOTE Democrat! (or however Oprah tells them they should vote!)
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.  But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp…