Headline: Anger grows in quake-hit Haiti over aid delayPORT-AU-PRINCE (Reuters) – Desperate Haitians set up roadblocks with corpses in Port-au-Prince on Thursday to demand quicker relief efforts after a massive earthquake killed tens of thousands and left countless others homeless.
Headline: Obama proposes bank fee, slams Wall Street
WASHINGTON (Reuters) – President Barack Obama on Thursday proposed Wall Street banks pay up to $117 billion to reimburse taxpayers for the financial bailout, as he slammed bankers for their "massive profits and obscene bonuses
Wait! Weren’t they supposed to pay back the bail out money in the first place? How about if they pay back ALL of it!
Headline: Men more evolved? Y chromosome study stirs debate
WASHINGTON – Women may think of men as primitive, but new research indicates that the Y chromosome — the thing that makes a man male — is evolving far faster than the rest of the human genetic code
So There! But I can answer the question: Why? It’s Women! We HAVE to stay ahead of them in order to survive and go fishing. By using our genetic advantage we can come up with excuses like: "Yes, dear. Bowling increases my sexual desire for you and that’s why I’m down at the lanes all the time." and "Beer makes me sexy." and "No, those shorts definitely DO NOT make your ass look bigger." (That last being a prime example of survival instincts kicking in…)
Headline: Cocaine Found in NASA Space Shuttle Hangar
NASA has launched an extensive investigation to determine how a small amount of cocaine ended up in a space shuttle hangar at the agency’s Florida spaceport.
Well, weren’t they looking for a cheaper method of getting the shuttle high? Hey, check the guy with the mop! Or the guy that looks like he’s been through the wind tunnel…
I’m outta here….